Every year people with very good intentions think of a list of New Year’s resolutions – usually consisting of some lofty goals like “I will never touch fast food again;” or “I will get back in shape;” or “I will be a more patient parent.”
Gifs courtesy of tenor.com
But there’s a reason why most of these resolutions have been broken by January 2nd… honestly, they’re just too unreasonable!
So this year, I’ve decided to cut myself some slack, and just sort of give myself some “suggestions” which I believe, if followed, could lead to personal greatness… but, if not, well, no biggie.
Here they are:
- Stop believing every ad for miracle wrinkle creams will work as well as Botox. With all the money we save, we can get more Botox! Ha-ha!
- Try harder to quit after the second bowl of low-fat granola. Memo to self: Once you’re on the third bowl, it’s no longer a healthy snack.
- Be more patient when people stare at my prosthetic legs. They are just curious, well, most of them!
- No more buying US Weekly and People at the same time, no matter how great the covers look. They are redundant.
- There is no need to sign up for every 5K race.
- Drink at least three glasses of water a day. (Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper doesn’t count as water.)
- Before my next Target run, ask myself, “Do I really need anything?”
- Use less toilet paper. LOL!
- Check my FB and IG 10% less often.
- Use more bullet points.
- Wash my prosthetic silicone a little more often. 😉
- Read more books and less news.
There. I feel better already! I have my whole year mapped out for myself. It helps to throw yourself a bone like that to get started right away. And it’s not cheating; it’s just giving yourself a boost.
Gifs courtesy of davno.ru
Good luck to everyone with everything they want to accomplish this year! Happy 2019!