Statements That Only Leg Amputees Would Say!

My girl-friend and I have the same IPhone and she grabbed my phone by accident one day last week. We both have our husbands listed as “hubby” and she was trying to text hers using my phone. She was confused at the last text that “she” had sent to “her husband” and quickly realized that she had my phone! We all got a good laugh about it! It never occurred to me that my random statements about my prosthesis are so weird to “normal” people!

So here are some funny statements that only leg amputees would say.

This was the text response to my husband that caused the confusion. He had texted me to see what I am doing after my long training run. I was so happy to be home and there was no way I was wanting to do anything else. My respond text read:

 “I will need to eat first. And will need to take off my legs to rest.”

legs

 That was not something my friend would text to her “hubby!” LOL!

This statement came from a discussion on how I was going to air travel, as an amputee, with my running blades. I didn’t want to risk them getting lost or getting broken checking as luggage.

“I need a carry-on bag that my running legs will fit in.”

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Image courtesy of ThisInsider.com

 

It’s not every day that TSA agents get to hear that. For the same reason I wear shorts or a skirt when flying so that when the agents ask me to take off my shoes, I can clearly show them that I have no legs!

As I walked by two small kids, ones says to the other:

“Look, that lady has one leg.”

The Friends responds:

“That’s because she lost the other one.”

 

A random guy at the gym stops and says:

“Wow, I didn’t know you had a bionic leg! That’s great! Can you run?”

(He was trying to say that just by watching me walk you would never know I had a prosthetic leg, but he made it sound like a prosthetic leg was better than a real one.)

Another guy stops me to say:

“My son calls you Iron Woman. I thought you might like to tell your friends that.” Haha, I guess I am more powerful than I thought. Thanks, little guy!

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Image courtesy of Pinterest

 

Often when at the end of the day when I take my prosthesis off in a living room to watch TV and I can’t carry my legs into the bedroom on my knees, I ask my husband:

“Can you carry my legs into the bedroom and spray my silicone with alcohol?”            I promise, this isn’t an intimate married thing! Just wanted him to put rubbing alcohol on my silicone leg sleeve! Haha!

In the winter, when everyone is wearing socks and their feet are cold, I often jokingly say:

“My toes never get cold, I don’t have feet!”

smart-ways-to-keep-your-feet-warm-in-chilly-weather

Finally, often when my friends call me last minute to go for a run, my usual comment:

“Give me a minute, I have to switch my legs!” We’ve been friends for a long time but it still trips them up sometimes!

 

This is my “normal” and sometimes I forget that these sound funny and out of context to most other people. But I have a lot of fun catching them off guard. Thanks for the laughs and hope you got some, too!

Tanya

 

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